Dear England,

I am Scottish – and I won’t be supporting you at the World Cup. I will be supporting Algeria, the USA, and Slovakia. Or maybe Slovenia – I can’t remember which one is in your group.

To some of my many English friends, I have given the following justification with a semi-straight face:
(1) Majid Bougherra is a Rangers player, I am a Rangers supporter, and he plays for Algeria
(2) Mrs Williamson is American, I lived in New York for many years, and I intend to return to live there again
(3) I play football with a Slovakian
(4) If you’re playing Slovenia, well, I went there once and I really liked it.

But these aren’t the real reasons, and they don’t explain why, when Cameroon took the lead against you at the World Cup in 1990, I jumped off my chair and bounced up and down in a living room in Enfield in a room full of people I’d just met, half of whom were English.

No, the real reasons are many and complex: I will give you a brief explanation of my top six. It’s very hard to put them in priority order, so I won’t.


You gained an unfair advantage (one that has never been allowed since) because you played all your games at the venue of the final. And we all know it wasn’t over the line. And some tea leaf stole the trophy – how embarrassing is that? So if I were you I’d shut up about the whole thing.


But he doesn’t, does he? Any excuse to mention it. “And the Argentinian captain has been sent off – just like 1966!” “And Brazil have crashed out – just like 1966!” “And it’s a bit cloudy – just like 1966!” Prediction: “Can the plucky North Koreans repeat their heroics of 1966?” I know, Motty’s retired now, but he’ll be thinking it.

But 1966 is one of my lesser beefs with Motty, because that one’s so obvious it’s a national joke outside your green and pleasant national borders. No, my bigger beef is his complete inability to be remotely objective when talking about an England game, an English team playing foreign opposition, or an English player involved in a game between two foreign teams.

The voice goes a bit higher, the tempo a bit faster, the closer the ball gets to the foreign goal or the England star of the moment (currently Rooney). Incredulity is expressed when yet again the English defense cocks up, or an English team is outplayed. It’s been happening for most of the last century so why does he always seem so surprised?


I’m far from in love with ours, but yours is a thousand generations less evolved, and if you had any sense you would launch a national boycott of the Sun, Mirror, Sunday Mirror, and News of the World. And the Express, Mail, and Mail on Sunday, because they’re as low as any of them, though they pretend to be middlebrow.

Taylor’s turnip-head graphic might have been deserved but remember before that how they drove your best and most successful manager since Ramsey – Bobby Robson – out of the job? And then there was the “fake Sheikh” nonsense with Sven Goran-Eriksson – pointless, stupid, and not even that interesting. More recently, you have the Mail on Sunday sting on 2018 bid chairman Lord Triesman – possibly killing your country’s World Cup hosting chances for another decade. Well done!

Why do you put up with it? They say you get the luck you deserve – I think you have the press you deserve, because you keep paying people to feed you this shit. At least Gary Lineker has shown some backbone and withdrawn his services from the Mail on Sunday. If I were you, I’d organise a boycott.


It’s not. It’s also not “the best league in the world”, but many of you seem to think it is – possibly because your tabloid press tell you so – and therefore you think England should have the best national team in the world.

The best players in the EPL are imports, but the sad thing is so are many of the worst. This means your young players don’t get the chances they should. Yes, I know you have your Rooneys and your Rodwells – but they are getting fewer and further apart. Trust me – we had this situation in Scotland in the late 90s and look how that’s worked out for us.

Who’s likely to be your starting goalkeeper in South Africa? David James – a middle-aged man who was never that good in his prime. Not like the 1980’s when you had Shilton and Clemence to pick from. And who’s your matchwinner if Rooney is injured or suspended? You don’t have one, do you? How’s the wonderkid from 2006 coming along, Walcott? Will he make the final squad? You need to sort this out.


In the 80’s and 90’s you made it easy for us. Every trip to Luxembourg or Dublin or Rome or Zurich provided hours of film of hooligans getting lagered up and running amok, destroying cars and shops and cafes. Occasionally even getting in a proper fight.

But recently you’ve smartened up a bit – congratulations. I am genuinely glad you’ve wised up, but even a non-hooligan English mob is still an English mob and that means God Save The Queen, ‘Johnny Foreigner’ xenophobia, lager, piss, and general boorishness.

Yes, the Tartan Army can be described as a bunch of drunk twats as well (and they are by several of my Rangers-supporting friends), but at least we have a sense of humour about ourselves. Yours hasn’t developed yet. I hope it does.


You need a sense of humor to deal with losing, which brings me to my next point: you don’t think you will.

Everything that makes me want you to lose can be summed up in one word, and that word is arrogance. Definition: “Having an exaggerated sense of one’s own importance or abilities.”

I think it was after the draw for the 2010 World Cup qualifiers, in December 2007, when John Terry – or one of your other fearless bulldogs – stated that he thought England could “go all the way” in South Africa. The sheer hubris of this statement blew my mind. Your team had just failed to qualify for the 2008 European Championships, having been outperformed by Croatia and Russia. You would think a little humility would be in order, but no – not just “we think we have a good shot at qualifying”, “we’d like to make up for the poor results we’ve just had” – no, boldly predicting a repeat of 1966!

But footballers say dumb things all the time. The thing that really kills me about this is that the guy interviewing him didn’t look him straight in the eye and ask the simple question I want to ask: “Are you fucking serious?”

But he didn’t ask that, because you’re all in on it, and you all think you can maybe, just maybe, win in South Africa. I’m here to tell you: you can’t. You won’t. Maybe sometime, but not this year, and not in four years time – in fact, not until you take a serious reality check on how good you are. Sort out your psychological issues – there is no more Empire – and then one day you will have a chance.

So, England, I am sorry. Until you develop a sense of humility, and stop banging on about 1966, and clamp down on your boorish travelling majority, and stop buying your shameful tabloid rags, I will be supporting Algeria, the USA, Slovenia, Slovakia, Argentina, Ireland, Germany, Sweden, Holland, Argentina again, Romania, Brazil, Portugal, Portugal again, Croatia, and whoever it is that sends you home from South Africa (To think again? Probably not). In short: I will be supporting Anyone But England.

Regretfully yours,



  1. That was quite funny.

    Although… our travelling majority are just as boorish, drunken, violent and anti-social as your Scotch lot, thank you very much.

    And… our tabloid press is easily as unpleasant and bigoted and narrow-minded as yours, now I think about it.

    Oh, and… no-one mentions 1966 more than the Scotch, in that you are unequalled anywhere in the world, including Essex, which is quite some feat.

    Also… I quite like the idea of national representatives having unshakeable self-belief in the face of awkward truths, historical facts and all common sense, it reminds me of Alex Salmond. Or people who like Braveheart.

    Other than those small points, very good, well done.

  2. Best it gets for dumb scots fans… Feel sorry for you guys as every major tornament you have to support other nations because ur own sorry nation can’t qualify.

    No matter… You support the yanks, Algeria and Slovenia and we will make you cry when we slaughter those teams!


  3. Sums up the feelings of the vast majority in the planet outside England. Enjoyed that 🙂

  4. So we are supposed to believe that the Scottish are modest?! if you knocked England out of a tournament or one day went on to win the WC or Euro Cup you wouldnt dwell on it and never mention it again?

    Your argument is so sad, England have nothing against Scotland so your half arsed hatred is one sided and frankly pathetic

  5. Rangers fans didn’t seem to have a sense of humour when they were smashing up Manchester after they got beat in the UEFA Cup final.

    My Dad is Scottish and the one reason he and you don’t want us to win is jealously.

    Like the Euro 2012 draw. It must feel really awful to know you won’t qualify for a tournament the moment after the qualifying draw has been made.

    I would love to see Scotland do well, just a pity some of their fans can’t see past their jealously.

  6. If you read the article, you’ll see it’s not about jealousy. I’m not jealous of Brazil – and they’re actually quite good.

  7. Right ok…..grow up mate 😀 just cos Scotland can’t qualify for event the qualifying play-off with possibly the easiest group in the WC qualifiers 😀

    Sad that your supporting 3 random teams, and hopefully make it 7 by the end of it when we win ;] oh and Spain are reigning Euro champions just like in 1966

  8. If Scotland were any good at anything you’d bang on about it as well. If the Scottish national side had any good players, you’d talk up your chances in major competitions.
    If you actually talk to an Englishman, you’d realise that very few believe we will even get to the Semis, even Lineker said we have no chance. I think people like you need to step out of this self-pitying bubble and sort your own problems out, instead of basing your life around the success of others.
    Whinging Scots, always banging on about 1966.

  9. I think we Scots should get the chip off our shoulder and do the right thing. Our countires are so similar it’s daft to squabble and want them to fail. Do what I and every true Scotsman will be doing this Summer, and support them.

    I am of course talking about New Zealand. ‘Mon the underdog

  10. Looking at the draw, they do have an easy group which they should win. Which will put them against Australia or Serbia in the last 16 and then probably Uruguay or France in the Quarters.

    Fortunately that would mean a semi against Holland or Brazil which they will lose after someone gets sent off as usual. But we’d better prepare ourselves for a long three weeks of Engerland until then.

    Come on the USA!

  11. Dear Alex,

    Even funnier is the number of peons who lack the ability to learn the difference between Scots and Scotch.

    And by the way, it’s not just limited to Football. Funny how when you’re spectating at just about any 6 Nations game that the majority of opinion seems to be “5 Nations v England’

    Yes, it’s true. You may not like it, but the fact is that you reap what you sow.

    Scots Men and Women are welcomed throughout Europe and the World…can you honestly say the same for English Men and Women?

    Of course I expect a retort of “it’s the minority”. Yes it is but it’s still an English Minority.

    I relish the English media during World Cup time (Rugby or Football) as they and most supporters seem to be stuck in the “Empire/Commonwealth/we’re the Jewel of the Civilised World” attitude.

    It’s just remarkable when a Scots Athlete excels they become “British” in the English Media…yet if it is someone south of the border….they are nothing but “English”.

    Yes it may well be the Media’s fault. But they’re only giving you what you’re craving.

    Enjoy the World Cup…I am certainly going to.

    You see as my fellow countryman has pointed out, the difference between us and you is we have a sense of humour about ourselves.

    We know we’re not great, but hey we enjoy it nonetheless and don’t take ourselves too seriously.

    Oh and every time an Englishman mentions 1966, I politely remind them how the same team was beaten 2-1 by Scotland the following year at Wembley.

    In case you didn’t know that.

    Perhaps you need take the advice of Voltaire whom said;

    “We look to Scotland for all our ideas of civilisation”.

    Yes, you do.

  12. Fly Fifer – Scotch, although something of an anachronism, can still refer to the Scottish people.

    Yes, I’m English, and I can honestly say I’ve been welcomed everywhere I’ve been throughout the world. I live overseas now and have had nothing but positive feedback, “I love your accent” and the like. Sorry to disappoint you.

    What’s a minority? You’re just plucking nonsensical arguments out of thin air.

    That’s an utter myth about the Scottish sportsmen becoming “British” when they excel…and our media is as representative of us as yours is of you.

    Don’t worry, nobody else takes you seriously either…

    We have a sense of humour, and unlike you we don’t arrogantly pat ourselves on the back about how funny we are all the time. For instance, an anti-English ‘Gay” jibe would be met with a riposte such as ‘Remind me again which country’s fans wear skirts, bare their backsides at other men and sing Julie Andrews songs.’

    No, I must admit I didn’t know Scotland beat England 2-1 in 1967. But I’ll bow to your superior knowledge though, after all no Scotland fan would be retarded enough to get the score of their most famous result wrong, would they?

    And personally I don’t look to Scotland for my ideas of civilisation, although I will enjoy watching my team AT THE WORLD CUP on that great American invention, the television. I don’t call the Ku Klux Klan, Millwall FC and the Union Flag the height of civilisation, to be honest…

    Are you enjoying this little exchange on the World Wide Web (Invented by an Englishman) by the way?

    You seem to think Scotland is the Jewel of the Civilised World or something!

    Glad you’re going to enjoy the World Cup, just a shame you have to do it vicariously…

    As for the original post – priceless! A Rangers fan complaining about someone singing God Save the Queen. Ha ha!!!

  13. why can’t we all just get along? … I dream of the day when a scots lass and an english lass make love not war. then maybe a dutch girl, or a german or an african (tests may be required for this one) can wander in, lay down their arms, and be warmly and intimately embraced.

    i’ve really got to stop watching porn.

  14. Well written piece, humorous and on point, yet you still get attacked in the comments – not surprising really.

    To all those oh so friendly England commenters and fans.

    So Scotland doesn’t qualify for the World cup. But hey, at least most Scottish people aren’t still living the “Two world wars and one world cup, doo dah, doo dah” dream. Get over your fragile English ego’s – you won 1 world cup, and that’s still a pretty doubtful, heavily biased win.

    And don’t get so offended English media when we refuse to wear England Jerseys as a “show of support” – we’ll do that when you guys start wearing French shirts – cool?

    And also having an American missus, my supporting anyone but England is guaranteed and my not supporting the USA will result in sore ‘nads!

  15. I’m Scottish and I’ll be supporting England. I have English friends and i like their beer and fashion.

  16. As an Englishman very happily living in Scotland I’m loathe to be drawn into this squabble. So I’m going to sidestep the bickering of the other respondees and address the article.
    1966 fixation – hands in the air, i concede. Any englishman that denies this is a problem for us is, well, in denial.
    Motson – the man’s retired, can’t we let him go now as a bone of contention?
    tabloid press – couldn’t agree more, bunch of scum suckers, who need a good talking to. But the record, Scottish sun, and all other scottish versions of english tabloids are just as dispicable.
    EPL – how do you define best league in the world? It’s a farcical argument. And yes there are alot of great (and awful) foreign players, but (in the EPL at least) Rooney, lampard, gerrard and co routinely shine. That they can’t do it regularly or at all, fr england is by the by. There’s plenty of english talent in the EPL.
    Lager Louts – it’s been said above, but needs repeating – just ask the people of Manchester about Lager Louts, they’ll all tell you about Rangers fans. You seem to be associating one present group, with a group from the past, rather like the english media and 1966 really…
    Arrogance – “when John Terry – or one of your other fearless bulldogs – stated that he thought England could “go all the way” in South Africa…” big deal. The guy’s a moron. Associating his opinions with those of the general public is like listening to Nick Griffin and assuming all Englishmen are racists. nonsense. Not to mention Scotland’s not so devoid of arrogance and blind devotion. It’s only this season that most scottish football fans have finally abandoned the ridiculous notion that mcfadden is in some way pele/maradona/cruyff all in one.
    England won’t win the world cup this year, but I would argue the reason we lack a sense of humour about it is that we have a group of players who should at least be challenging. It’s fine to laugh at yourself when you don’t have a chance anyway, but it’s much harder when you there’s that feeling of a missed opportunity.

  17. Dliefteh – Very good points. And I think by coming onto a Scottish website and not responding with a rant, this shows you do have a sense of humour and humility (must’ve picked it up while living in Scotland eh?).

    As I said above I think you’ll get to the semis at least and my only real concern is that although we live in a different country we will be exposed to 24 hour focus on the English team for three weeks of the World Cup. To be honest I think if us Scots were forced to watch non stop coverage of the Algerian team we’d probably get sick of them too.

    So maybe the truth is that what we really object to is that we dont have a choice. The BBC and ITV and Sky will be talking to us as if we are England fans. The commentators will be talking about the game as if all the viewers are supporting England. And I know I dont like being told what to like.

    Bottom line is that I have English mates, I like bands from England and if I met an Englishman like Dliefteh in a pub it wouldnt be an issue. But I still cant support their football team … until we have our own media!

  18. This debate over whether Scots should support England is an internal Scottish squabble. I don’t want Scots to support us, I don’t support you and the reason is purely down to football rivalry. That, and the attitudes of people like the original poster who wrote a load of absolute pap.

    I’m still in stitches that a Rangers supporter could have the brass neck to complain about anybody else indulging in renditions of GSTQ, drunken boorishness, bigotry and clinging on to ‘Rule Britannia’ hubris.

  19. I just came over from the Scottish Round up, and saw your post title and felt my blood boil and my hackles rise… as an English woman married to a Scot and recently moved to Scotland, my biggest fear about the move was anti-Englishness, people who would hear my accent and dislike me because of the accident of my birth…

    And I thought your piece was going to be exactly the same, but it wasn’t. It was funny and well written, and I agree with all your points…. (and not just because I hate football anyway!)

    But still…. if it were Scotland, or indeed Wales, I’d be supporting them, and the majority of Scots don’t have American wives (which is a justifiable reason for supporting the States – marital harmony being a good thing generally!), so really, can’t we have a little bit of unity, 300 years after the Act that made it official?

    oh, and ps, of course they’re not going to win. There’s blind optimism and rank stupidity, and that’s the latter.

  20. I won’t be supporting England. Mostly because of their continued political domination of us and mostly due to their media. The Scots Sun and Record are just northern extentions of the London press. Interestingly, the editor of the Record who came out with the strongest anti-English bile was er… an Englishman.

    Anyway, i might support England when they support Germany. If the French, Belgians, Danish, Scots even etc can have good relations with the Germans, why can’t the English?

    I do concede though that the above article is a bit rich coming from a Rangers’ supporter.

  21. Dear The Fly Fifer

    “Scotch” was designed to get a reaction. So, well done, have a biscuit, and thanks for making my day.

    And sorry to break it to you, but Voltaire’s been dead a while now. If he’d ever been to an Old Firm game, he’d only look to Scotland for vile, sectarian bigotry, pig ignorance, violence and hatred.



  22. Dear Alex,

    That’s right and because of that Scottish supporters have been banned from Europe how many times?…

    And when were you last at an Old Firm game to cast judgement?

  23. You have to be in it to win it and thatsyour problem, JEALOUSY. Why do you even care what we say, you never participate anyway.

  24. o you jocks you make me laugh,you hate us,you hate england,you want nothing to do with us.why then don’t you grow some balls and vote for independence,if we english had the chance,we’d be sending all the pissheads and scroungers back to scotland.and whats all this guff about rangers and celtic joining the english football setup..LOL.ENGLISH FOREVER BRITISH NEVER…p.s. regarding celtic and rangers joining the english football setup,i am forever grateful to your football teams giving us english a laugh.

  25. The more I read the comments on here, the more I realize that the tone of the article was set at a perfect level.

    There are Scots and English alike who have read this and understood the tongue-in-cheek nature of the points made and who have made intelligent thoughtful comments.

    Then there are those, like Shaun the Brummie, for whom this article has just sailed above their heads. Well done Dear Scotland for drawing that line so deftly.

    As an England fan I thank you for your honesty and while I dont agree with you on all your points, I still hope to see you with us in a major championship soon. Genuinely, your absence is the World Cup’s loss.

  26. Dear Billy

    You are welcome to you anti English opinion,but as a Scot you should put your own house in order before you condemn the English

    I am Australian I once had the misfortune to visit your Geographically beautiful country, Unfortunately the same cannot be said of your people, When I was on many occasions mistaken for an English man and abused,Sheer ignorance and racism on the part of your sad country men, I also spent time South of your Border,where my experience was the complete opposite

    I hope the poms win the World Cup ,at least they are there,and thank fullly you are not with your hordes of Whisky sodden louts

    Aussie One

  27. Aussie – Surely you would be supporting Australia? They’re playing right now ffs. Or did you get up at 4am to make a comment on here?

  28. Just watched the game Kenny,1-1 thought the lads did well,bit unlucky with the Red card though.IMO.

    At last they had a go this time,its 2.16 am here now not 4.00 am.

    Aussie One

  29. Red card was harsh but the right decision. Aussies played well and could’ve won. Missed Cahill. Saw a few Scottish flags in the crowd too who were probably supporting you.

    I reckon you can still go through to the next round though as long as you win 7-0 against Serbia.

  30. Dear Scotland

    You’ve totally missed the point. Without continued English participation you have no emotional involvement in the World Cup. Ever. Yes, we’ve scraped through to the knockout stages, but yet again that’s a scraping through more than you’ve ever achieved, during your (increasingly rare) appearances at the greatest show on earth.

    WIthout England’s involvement, you can’t indulge in your national sports – schadenfreude and an unfeasible jealousy of the English. It’s not really reciprocated by the way. We always like to see that fat, blonde windswept old bag huff and puff her way to Gold or Silver at the Winter Olympics in the “pushing stuff on ice and sweeping”, and…..err that’s it. Oh, rich, ex-public school Scottish Tories riding bikes. Nearly forgot him.

    Anyway, shouldn’t you be watching the tennis? That nice Andy Murray’s on again.

  31. As a Scot i have to take issue with Billy in his original statement about English fans:”boorish,drunken,Rule Britania xenaphobia. Are you sure you are a Rangers fan Billy. These are all traits of the Rangers fan at home and abroad AKA Manchester,Barcelona etc. Taits the rest of Scotland is embarrassed about. As far as I am concerned Rangers fans are worse than the English fans. I do agree with most of your article but I can’t stand Rangers fans hypocrosy and denial. If Rangers fans grew up then the rest of Scotland could move on. I accept English fans as they are English but Rangers fans want to be English but are actualy Scots makes my blood boil!

  32. Yes but still the usual denial in his article:” A minority of fans”. My Arse! To a man in the stadium in Manchester every one had a union jack! Scottish they are not.It may be a minority who fight but the majority sing boorish sectarian songs. It is institutionalised within Ibrox. The dambusters payed before every game what has this to do with Rangers and Scotland.Rule Britannia again sung by the majority. They look like English hooligans,sound like English hooligans so as far as I am concerned they are all partly responsible for the overall attitude. No excuses.

  33. Big Jock: I was in the stadium in Manchester and I didn’t have a Union Jack – and there were Scotland flags there too. Not all Rangers fans are Monarchists/Unionists, though I grant you a lot are. I don’t like their views either but they are allowed to have them, up to a point, and I can at least understand Scottish Rangers fans who also support England – the ones who make my blood boil are those who support England but not Scotland. The world isn’t black and white and a Rangers-free Scotland would still have its problems.

  34. All, thanks for the comments on here – most of them in the spirit of the original article which I honestly believe had some sensible points that now seem to be getting some airtime in the English media. You can thank me later!

    And, if I did offend anyone with my post, I would just like to say that at no point did I intend it to cross the line.

  35. Hi Billy

    Point taken. However sadly very sadly you are one of the minority with Saltires at ibrox. I would say it is at least 80% Union,Ulster and England flags at Ibrox. i am a Partick Thistle fan. If the majority of fans including the club started to become a pro Union organisation and waived thses sorts of flags and sang unionist guff.(most of which is anti Scottish). You would not see me for dust. A man can be guilty by association. The same way it would be difficult to be a socialist but a member of the Tory party. Being pro Scottish and being in the most anti Scottish football team in Scotland just doesn’t make sense. If you don’t agree with them Billy don’t waive a Saltire waive goodbye and have the courage to do so.

  36. Big Jock: not sure I agree with all of your assertions but it’s a topic worth exploring and I may address in a future article. Thanks for the comment.

  37. so how many of the above porridge wogs are living in the fuck don’t you piss off back to s**tland.brown,blair and the rest of scottish anti english labour cabal,deliberately flooding england with immigrants/asylum seekers….i would rather have a war against the scots than the taleban,at least they’re honest about their fuck off back,and take your spawn with you.

  38. This all seemsa wee bit high brow to me, I thought we didn’t want England to win anything ‘cos they’re all poofs.
    Thats not a Gay slur, I’m friends with Elton John y’know (and I’ve slept with Ricard Gough).

  39. Shaun the brummie, say what you really think.
    ps, you sound funny, like that guy off Aufweederzane Pet.
    porridge wogs ? HAHAHA, does your boyfriend know you’re a racist ?