I never bet on my team.  It’s a rule I’ve followed since I was in high school, when I wagered with a Dons-supporting friend that Rangers would beat Aberdeen.  Rangers lost, and I am convinced to this day we would have beaten them if I hadn’t made that bet. So allow me to sit on […]

The Old Firm Decider the other week had few highlights, but the one truly memorable moment was something you don’t see very often: a top-drawer penalty save. Samaras struck a decent enough shot, but McGregor guessed well, got down to his left, and stopped the Celtic fans behind him from erupting in delight at a […]

Two adult Scotsmen from Renfrew, on a pristine lawn, in the sunshine. One on his hands and knees being dry-humped, doggy-style, by the other. Behind them, valiantly ignoring this advert for the perils of alcohol, a choir of virginal schoolchildren. In a bar up the road, an empty litre-and-a-half bottle of Imperial vodka.

It’s that time of year again: nicer weather, Cadbury’s Cream Eggs, and the Old Firm Decider. This Sunday, Celtic visit Ibrox for the third time since August – the two teams matching off for a record seventh time in one season.  If familiarity breeds contempt, then referee Craig Thomson had better get his arm ready […]

I’m not a lawyer, but in the last few months I’ve learned a few things about defamation.  Paul McBride IS a lawyer, and a good one at that, but he should ask for a copy of my lecture notes before he opens his mouth again and further libels the SFA.

It was back to the eighties at Fir Park, Motherwell, last Saturday.  No, it wasn’t a retro disco night featuring Kajagoogoo, shoulder pads, and men with snoods wearing too much eyeshadow.  Aberdeen manager Craig Brown and Motherwell chairman John Boyle recreated a classic 80s hooligan scene: the top boys from Aberdeen’s Soccer Crew and Motherwell’s […]

The Tartan Army are still the world’s fluffiest football fans, thanks to the Sun newspaper. The blowhard tabloid rag proudly declared itself the saviour of the Tartan Army after it produced a photograph showing the banana thrown on to the pitch after Brazil’s second goal came from an area populated by Brazil fans.

If anyone ever asked me who my hero is, I would answer: Tank Man.  He is the anonymous person who stood in front of a column of Chinese Army tanks on Beijing’s Chang’an Avenue on June 5, 1989 – the morning after the massacre of students in Tiananmen Square.  No-one knows his real name.

This Sunday sees the sixth meeting of the Old Firm this season, and the first that will directly result in silverware – the League Cup. This tournament came into being in 1947.  I’m not entirely sure why – presumably to throw a few more games into the calendar and thus bring a few more pounds […]