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Going on Holiday? Pack Your Replica Shirt
Back in the mid-90s, before Mrs Williamson was a snowboarder, we’d often spend the Martin Luther King long weekend (mid-January) flying down to Miami and hanging out in South Beach. It was a fine break from the freezing New York winters and allowed me to transform my pasty white skin into a marginally less pasty […]
Billy Williamson
July 22, 2010
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Reflections on the 2010 World Cup
My tournament began in the conference room of a fund management company on George Street in Edinburgh: I had travelled through from Glasgow for the day to visit a friend who had invited me to watch South Africa-Mexico on an extremely large flat screen TV in his office. A month later, I staggered out of […]
Billy Williamson
July 15, 2010
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What’s the Hampden? (Part 1 of an occasional series)
This is the first in an occasional series where we will take a match result and look at memorable games in Scottish history with that result. This week: games that ended 4-1: 1882 Scottish Cup Final: Queen’s Park 4 Dumbarton 1 (after 2-2 draw)
Billy Williamson
July 1, 2010
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NOW! That’s What I Call World Cup Music
“You have to write your column tonight,” said Mrs Williamson. “Do you know what you’re going to do yet?” “Yes,” I replied, “I’m going to write about Scotland’s World Cup songs.” Mrs W: “Have there been many?” Me: “Oh yes.” Enjoy.
Billy Williamson
June 24, 2010
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You Can Stick Your Vuvuzelas Up Your
The first person who blows a vuvuzela in a Scottish football ground should be taken to the centre spot immediately to have the thing shoved up – RIGHT UP – his or her hairy ginger arse. Sideways. That is my view, I will stick to it, and I will not mention the vuvuzela again. Well […]
Billy Williamson
June 17, 2010
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Africa, Africa, We’re The Famous Tartan Army And We’re Not Going To Africa
People who know I’m a football fan and know there’s a World Cup on, but apart from those two facts don’t know much about football, have been asking me: “Are you going to South Africa?” I politely answer no, and then explain it’s because Scotland didn’t qualify. What I’m really thinking is, “Why the fuck […]
Billy Williamson
June 10, 2010
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Dear England
Dear England, I am Scottish – and I won’t be supporting you at the World Cup. I will be supporting Algeria, the USA, and Slovakia. Or maybe Slovenia – I can’t remember which one is in your group.
Billy Williamson
June 3, 2010
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The Celtic Cup (or, My Name’s Billy And I’ll Be Here All Week)
This time next year, we’ll be in the final stages of the inaugaral “Four Associations” tournament in Dublin. This competition, announced in March 2009, will see Northern Ireland, the Republic, Scotland, and Wales compete in a round-robin format where the winner will… well, nothing really. There doesn’t seem much point to the whole thing.
Billy Williamson
May 27, 2010
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Billy’s Index: The 2009-10 SPL Season
A shameless ripoff of the wonderful Harper’s Index. Pictured: Lee McCulloch protests against a yellow card for the 48th time this season. More stats below:
Billy Williamson
May 20, 2010
