Having read that the new Scotland kit was launched with “augmented reality,” I was hopeful that we’d be augmenting the new kit’s reality with a better football team. Alas, we’re stuck with Gary Caldwell for the time being – the reality augmentation for this kit’s launch was a clever video installation in Glasgow’s Buchanan Galleries shopping centre allowing any overweight wee chancer to pretend he’s a Scottish international footballer. Kind of like when Charlie Adam lines up at Hampden, I guess. Anyway, the new kit is ugly and overpriced but I’m sure I’ll end up wearing it at some point. From £35 from www.scottishfootballdirect.com
For not much more than the cost of a historic Hibee Herald, you might be able to observe history as it’s made. Dunfermline’s matchday hospitality packages start at just £40, which includes a three-course meal, Sky TV in the lounge, and “exclusive” centre-stand seating. From the official club site dafc.co.uk, which says it’s a cash bar, though. St Mirren’s £95 deal includes more or less the same, but you don’t have to go to Fife and it’s inclusive of drinks (www.saintmirren.net).
Kilmarnock offer something that neither of these packages, nor their equivalents across Scotland, England, or even Europe, can boast: the world-famous Killie Pie. But you can now get yours locally and smuggle it into your ground of choice, because Brownings Bakers, makers of the legendary meat-inside-pastry combo, distribute the Killie Pie in Aldi and Spar throughout the nation. Next stop: overseas shipping, please.
St Johnstone’s online store is tat central. You can have pencil sharpeners for 50p, rulers for 90p, erasers for 50p, pens or pencils for 60p, all emblazoned with the Saints logo. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should, St Johnstone. If you want to encourage such rubbish, go to saintsonlinestore.co.uk.
A much better investment: £110 to sponsor the boots of an Inverness Caledonian Thistle player. In fact, it’s probably less now we’re halfway through the season. Can you nominate who you want to be kicked? Probably not, but you can email the Caley club shop to find out: ictfc.co.uk.
And finally, three tips for the readers among you. In Search of Alan Gilzean (from amazon.co.uk) is James Morgan’s account of locating the great Dundee and Spurs striker; The Blizzard is a new-ish quarterly publication of long-form football journalism, available digitally or on paper from blizzard.co.uk; and still going strong the venerable When Saturday Comes fanzine now offers digital subscriptions for £19.50 annually at wsc.co.uk.