As regular readers will know, Dear Scotland loves  Scottish music. But we also love puns (eg “Jesus! It’s Nazareth“).  So one might imagine the delight we felt at the epic punnery that recently emanated from Mogwai guitar hero Stuart Braithwaite. As you will see below, with such a fine grasp of wordplay, one can only imagine what might happen if Mogwai actually added pun-filled lyrics to their sonic masterstrokes.

Like many musicians these days, Stuart Braithwaite is a frequent twitterer under the name Plasmatron. For those not familiar with Twitter, users will often append a hash-tag “#” to a subject to make tweets on that topic easier to follow, for example #swine flu or #District 9. A couple of weeks ago the subject #indiesellouts appeared, which as you’ll see below, was a trend to do with bands-as-product-placement puns.

It started so innocently with Stuart’s first contribution to this subject as  “Home Basement Jax”. However, over the next 36 hours what can only be described as a corny-ucopia of music related puns poured forth from the Mogwai instrumentalist. Now there were more than a few groaners in his output of 90 something puns, but there was some pun gold there too.

Now I for one admire Stuart’s commitment and sheer love of the pun so as it’s Friday I thought we should preserve and present the full effusion here on Dear Scotland. And I’m very very sorry.

In case you don’t make it to the end, Mogwai have also announced that they will play the Fiz festival in Spain on October 9th. Ticket information below the punnage.

And if you can take it, there are more Dear Scotland puns here and here.

Stuart Braithwaite’s #indiesellouts

homebasement jax
the wh smiths
the enronettes
the shamenswear dept
topshop assistants
the waitrose of avalanche
minor threatnies
tortoise R Us

Stars of the Lidl
asdas damen
burger kings of leon
dead kennedys-el
dead kennediesel (works better)

taco bell-rays
coca cola bradford
animal coll-activea
3 minute stereo l-abs (brutal!)

news of the world of twist
sheep on superdrugs
morrisons and daughters
John Moore and the Optical-Expressway
Daniel Johnston and Johnston
Pound Stretchheads!
Bob Stilton

Dananananaklloyds TSB
Muji-sus and Mary Chain
HMV-Twin
Alton Towers of London
Pret-A-Man-Jesu
British Railway Children
Tennage Fanclub 18-30
Prins Thomas Cook
Babes in Toyland of Leather
Mudhoneywell
Nirvanapple

Victoria Secret Machines
The Gapples in Stereo
Vodafoneley One
Wolf Eyes-land
Boards Of Cana-Daz

Pan America Apparel
Tarwater Board
Shipping News International
Black Diceland
Explosions In The Sky TV
PJ Harvey Nichols
TV on the Radio Rentals
Silver Jewsons
Andrew W K-Mart

Deerhunter Wellies
Autoglass Candy
Black Angus Steak House of Love

Nissandrew Bird
Coca Co La’s,
The Farm-foods
Tennents Superchunk
The New Buckfast Automatic Daffodils
The New York Times New Vikings
Greggs Dulli
Superdrugstore
Belle and Sebasti-Anne Summers
British Snow Petroleum

cold play.com
Harvey Milky Bar
Special Josef K
Franz FerdiNandos
Caledonian McBraniac,
Stannah Stairlift To Experience
Wheeta-Bis

Sanyo La Tengo,
Birdland Of Leather,
DFS-Express
The National-Express
Dose One 2 One,
B&Q-Tip

Soft Cellular
Megabus City 4
Fred Durst-Buster,
Wine Gummy Stumps
he Dure-X
Chanel No 5 Style
Half Man Half Bis-Kit Kat
Beta Band Aid

Ultrasound Control
Tesco Co Rosie,
TexaCodeine
The New Goodyear
Broken Daily Records
Mazzy Star Bar
Stereo MC&As

Antony and the Johnsons baby oil
Super Furry Animals Planet
Tele-vision Express
Psychic Tv Times. thats it. I’m out

Somerfields Of The Nephilim
Janes Adixons

www.twitter.com/plasmatron

www.mogwai.co.uk/

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